Everyone feels shy at a certain point in time. The reason why people look at the mirror, dress to match, do thorough make-over and move stylishly in public places with utmost comportment is all to appear attractive in the view of others. We all have a sense of self-awareness in us. What is of utmost importance is the degree of shyness of each individual and when it becomes an impediment on our social lives.
I recall my early days as a little boy, the experience of having a crush on a girl for the first time. I just imagined her staring at me all the time when I wasn’t looking. It got to a point I felt so imperfect and even got lost in thought. I couldn’t walk past her without the feeling that ‘those eyes are watching me’. We all know we are been watched by someone and we strive to be perfect in their sight, especially those we have a secret thing for. However when we are not able to act or think properly because we feel that everyone is watching and waiting for us to make mistakes, then it becomes a serious social problem.
There are people who constantly feel that other people are watching them. Perhaps it could be that something happened at an early age in life that triggered off this feeling of shyness like being bullied, rejected or a traumatic experience. Some people are also born with a temperamental tilt to shyness. But on the whole, most feelings of shyness is hidden. Only a small percentage of shy persons appear to be obviously ill at ease. The truth is we all suffer some degree of shyness internally.
Other reasons also points to why some persons feel shy. Maybe you have simply not learnt social skills and lack confidence when interacting with people. For example; Its very natural for a child who had lived under the microscope of parenthood, being constantly subjected to detailed scrutiny and criticism to grow into a shy adult. He or she becomes scared of taking any actions or expressing himself out of fear of a negative reaction from others.They fear that they would be laughed at, rejected, profiled, humiliated or criticized. The surest way to avoid all these is to entirely avoid social situations.
Psychology defines shyness as a feeling of awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Unlike introverts, who are confident in themselves but reserved, shy people love to be around and connect with others but feel perplexed to do so. They have no idea on how to relate with others and feel overly anxious about doing so. Stronger forms of shyness are usually referred to as social anxiety or social phobia
People are shy for various reasons, but the biggest reason is fear of rejection. We all want people to like us, and if I worry that people might not like my opinions, or my looks, or my company, or the way I dress, or the way I talk, or the jokes I make, that can make a person shy.
Even if you are born shy, it sure doesn’t doom you to a lifetime of averting others eyes. You can still get over it and start acting like you don’t give a hoot about anything.
If you are the shy type, here are 25 ways you can overcome shyness
1. Realize you are perfectly normal like any other person.
2. Know that you are distinct, Do not compare yourself to others.
3. Take your time, Be kind and patient with yourself.
4. Realize your mindset is your biggest asset, change it!
5. Believe in and Encourage yourself at all times
6. Learn to Speak for yourself, Quit depending on others to speak for you.
7. Work on your social skills. Go out and mingle with friends.
8. Listen attentively to good conversationists and learn from them.
9. Give yourself time, practice and slowly perfect your oratory skills.
10. Understand that nobody is perfect and none actually cares the way you look or act. Its all in your mind.
11. Do what you enjoy more frequently.
12. Work yourself out, look fit.
13. Carefully select those you socialize with. Talk to people who make you feel good about yourself.
14. Understand that there is nothing as being socially perfect. Do not be too harsh on yourself if you make a mistake or say something you regret. Everyone does just that.
15. Spend less time on the Internet, create a circle of friends you socialize with.
16. Relax your mind, focus more on the task you are to accomplish.
17. Knowing that you are good at something helps boosts your confidence. Work on your talents and abilities.
18. Focus more on improving on things you know you are not so good at.
19. Create a socializing schedule for yourself and stick to it.
20. Accept compliments cheerfully and graciously by saying “Thank you”
21. Identify what makes others respond positively to you and keep doing just that.
22. Focus more on the other person than on yourself.
23. Always keep an open mind. Give others the benefit of doubt and they will surely reciprocate.
24. Face your challenges head-on.
25. Never label or advertise yourself as ‘shy’. Those who are close to you already know, strangers don’t.